Saturday, February 28, 2009

I Really Like You BUT ONLY as a Friend

If you are a guy who never seems to be able to attract HOT women, or you have attractive female friends who always seem to say, “He’s really wonderful, but I just like him as a FRIEND”, then this could possibly be the single most important thing you ever read in your entire life.

Have you ever met a woman and given her a compliment, only to have her walk away and show no interest? Or pursued a woman with gifts, favors, and dinners, only to have her be “confused” and need “time alone”… which eventually led to her wanting to “just be friends”? Have you ever had an attractive female friend who liked to date abusive jerks… and then tell YOU about the abuse she was putting up with… all the while you would have done ANYTHING for a chance to be with her?

Everyone knows that if you ask a woman “What do you want in a guy?” she’ll answer with something like, “I want a NICE guy who comes from a good family… honest, stable, dependable… etc.” Right? But we also know that a lot of really attractive women on this planet seem to be found with guys who are exactly the opposite. Let’s look at some of the top models of all time. Why is it that all the super-models seem to date violent, drug-addicted, unstable, wild rock stars? I think you get the picture.

There’s a HUGE difference between what women say they want and what women are attracted to. Women have many conflicting drives going on inside. And in many cases women RESPOND to completely illogical things – which are often very different than what they say that they “want”. They quickly “either-ors” any guy they encounters: Either he’s going to be a lover or he’s going to be a friend. And once a woman has relegated you to the “Friend Zone,” it’s all but impossible for her to see you in any other way. Many guys fantasize that by acting as a hot girl’s friend or romantic counselor, they can “backdoor it” into her heart or her bed. This may work well in romantic comedies (or possibly with psychotic women), but in real life, you’re just kidding yourself. You’re a “friend,” and she doesn‘t need you for sex.

So how do you know if you’re in the Friend Zone? You’re just a friend if you hear phrases like: “I can talk to you about anything, ““You‘re really a nice guy,” “You‘re like a brother to me,”, “You‘re my best friend,” “I like you too much to go out with you,” “I don’t want to risk losing what we have,” and so on. Also when she tells you all about her problems with men, When She asks you for advice about the men she’s attracted to. And when she tells you excitedly, “I just met this really great guy!” – Man, you just had the door closed and I’d say forever!
Now for the reason why you get dumped into the garbage can called ‘Just Friends’ is mainly due to one reason – she’s not attracted to you. If a woman doesn’t feel it, then it’s going to be VERY hard to make any progress beyond, “I only like you as a friend.”

When it comes to dating and romance, a woman’s STRONGEST desire is to be with a man that she feels a strong emotional attraction for… a man that fits her genetic, archetypal lock… the Yang in her Yin. Attraction is so powerful that a man who is not physically attractive, who doesn’t have money, who isn’t tall, etc. can win the affections of a woman over a man who does have these things, but doesn’t have the personality and qualities that are naturally and genetically attractive to women.

Most guys don’t understand that a woman can want to be around them “just for them”… in other words, that she’ll want to be with him, spend time with him, enjoy having sex with him, etc. Most guys are also surprised that a woman will actually do the pursuing if the situation is desirable for her.

It is time that you get over the idea or come to terms in your mind that kissing up to a woman, giving away your power, accepting her manipulative behavior, buying her things, pursuing her, acting apologetic, and all the other traditional ideas aren’t the answer. The answer lies in learning how to make a woman feel that gut level emotional feeling called ATTRACTION…

When you can create that emotion inside of a woman, she’ll want you just because she loves how she feels when she’s with you. Just as importantly, she’ll want you because she DOESN’T like how she feels when she’s NOT around you. As the French philosopher quoted “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing of”.